Observations of a Spiritual Order
Most of y’all know that I’m not Christian (xtian). Some of y’all probably know that I Never have been. But let me clarify that this has almost nothing to do with doubting the Nazarene’s life, death, ressurrection, or miracles and everything to do with distance & boundaries from his modern followers. Yes ALL of y’all. And it isn’t personal either. As in, no individual good xtian (much like no individual ‘good cop’ could convince me that police should not be abolished) could change my mind. The systems set up in his name do not and never appealed to me in the least.
Studying and learning about Buddhism did not change my mind about xtianity nor did it convince me entirely of ITS way. Some aspects of the systems put in place by the prince’s devout did and continue to appeal to me more than the xtian church — however more than that I quickly realized that both are religions and as such have habits in common… such of patriarchy dominance and uniformity that I despise and find intolerable, incompatible both w my life and my morality.
During my yoga training I began to study Hinduism in more depth, moving to India. There I learned more not only about this faith but also again more about both xtianity and Buddhism.
Btw I use the X for Christ as a symbol of the cross (yes he is a Man of the Crossroads) and do not capitalize bc of how incredibly dominant the religion is over all even our entire concepts of time. I fully trust Jesus understands and Lorde knows as I am explaining I am mot their follower and never have been despite respect for the Nazarene’s words and deeds theoretically.
Through learning about the pantheistic Hindu religion, I learned about how Buddhist colonizers of a whole different continent waged war over the supremacy of faith. In my prior studies of Buddhism I had already seen how white people wholly appropriated the faith and had been doing so for far too long in a way that made me physically disgusted. I continue to disdain religion.
In India, traveling taking classes and attending spiritual events including silent meditation retreats (once for 40 days) and sacred pilgrimages, I also learned about the ancient roots of Eastern spiritual practices and deities. With my…
